Jesus. Olivia. Faith. "A new discovery of love, hope and joy."
About Me "Life is about finding yourself. Don't be afraid to express yourself!" Olivia Faith Low I'M A FRIEND OF GOD! 13 July ig.joliviafaith Speak out links Facebook. Twitter. Yesterdays May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 August 2013 December 2013 February 2014 August 2014 December 2014 January 2015 March 2015 May 2015 June 2015 July 2015 August 2015 October 2015 November 2015 December 2015 January 2016 February 2016 March 2016 April 2016 June 2016 August 2016 October 2016 January 2017 February 2017 December 2017 April 2020 Credits ©Glamouresque.	Friday, December 29, 2017 2017 I was caught in the middle. I was at my highest point and also lowest point. I was caught in happiness and also in sadness. Many times I thought I couldn't survive, I barely can breathe in my tears, I heard myself telling God to kill me right now. I try to hide away the pain I'm feeling, I slept, hang out with close friends that will make me laugh. I realised it was hard to face myself alone or even face God because the pain is gonna be so real and painful and I thought it was gonna drown me alive. It was first started with anxiety, unworthiness and soon it became loneliness. I thought to myself it must be my fear, my character, my insecurities that I'm not able to let God take over. Yes it must be. I been running away, I don't know how to go back, I lost myself and everyday I'm just covering myself with all these covers, surface things that will make me less painful. I wanna forget those pain and hurts and live happily but idk why something inside me just creeped on and it is addictive to feel this way. How long more can I do this. How long more can I stop feeling the feeling inside of me. Nobody will really understands me even if I wanna share who can I share with?? This year, I learnt to be more alone, more acceptance to the the things that happen to me, learn to be sad and move on and be happy and the cycle goes on. We are not meant to be happy in life btw, the things here can't satisfy us. But we crave for people to satisfy us, but they disappoint and ur whole world crash, even ur family. We l are meant to be alone, to grow alone, to feel alone. Finding a right one is a bonus, a companion to support but nope u gonna try to be alone and u don't need anyone to make u feel powerful or happy. U need urself. The relationship u create between u and ur inner soul. All else can fail but this can't. Everyday u have to fight that battle until there is a release, there is a peace in the chaos. U have to keep fighting and God will deliver u at the end. God, restore my strength and courage to live life like this again. I do not ask for an easy life, I ask for the strength and courage to live life. This year was hiding, a place to be safe but next year I'm not hiding. I want to realise that life is so much more than all these and truly I can live for myself and you without being scared of how painful and hurtful. God send me angels, let my heart be open up to the right connections that can lead me higher and stronger.
www.jfaiviloth.bs.com Your love keeps me going.