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Jesus. Olivia. Faith.
"A new discovery of love, hope and joy."
About Me


"Life is about finding yourself. Don't be afraid to express yourself!"

Olivia Faith Low
I'M A FRIEND OF GOD!
13 July
ig.joliviafaith
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Credits
©Glamouresque.
Wednesday, February 1, 2017
If I am not as afraid....

"The comfort zone is the place dreams go to die because nothing great ever happens in there. Things are protected and safe, there’s no room for failure and growth and change. Leave your comfort zone, fail, live, learn, then pick yourself up and do it again until you stop failing and start becoming successful."

 If I haven't live in fear for the past two years, I might not be where I am now. If I stand up for myself, I might not be suffering like this now. If I can know what I want clearly, I wouldn't be so hurt now. If I can learn to guard my heart, I will not be as broken like now. I guess it was meant to happen, it was meant to fail, I needed to go through what I'm going through. After going through this, I really felt I am alive, living because living is both good and bad. We experience the downfall of the world yet the good things that came along. We experience pain because after all the pain, we truly know what is being happy like and this doesn't come easy. This is the turning point for me, is either I break or survive victoriously at the end. Life is difficult because of all this pain. I lost part of myself to something I thought that I could gave it all. I gave my heart but at the end I end up with scars, having to think can I trust anything or anyone with my heart again. I lost this round again. I failed to protect my heart. I really blame myself for being so bad at handling my emotions and my anxiety that cause me to fail so badly this time. I blame myself for being so highly sensitive to almost everything, because I feel deeply, I love deeply and I would end up hurting, deeply too. When I love, I give all, when I don't love, I don't. When I am fearful, I step back. The unknown of the future scared me so badly, I don't know where to see myself at, who to love and what I can become. It scares me and the fear is real, so real. I thought I fell into depression, I thought it would be damn freaking hard to come back again. I cried myself sometimes, fight the thoughts and battle with my own emotions daily. I couldn't depend on anyone anymore. I am on my own with myself. I can't help to feel so disappointed as I struggled through these few years with the same issue. I called for help so many times, I don't know how to help myself sometimes. I thought if I have Jesus in my heart, I can be able to overcome. And yes, I can if I want and with the help for my Father I really can. But God, this is so real I can't even handle all these. I guess I have my first time for everything. And the FIRST will always be the crucial stage to the next stage of my life. I am still at my first stage fighting, if I pass this first stage...I would really cry. Honestly, if I am not as afraid, I would have pass the stage long ago....but the fear, the fear of failure, the fear of disappointment, the fear of hurt, the fear of losing, the fear of the unknown scared me so badly that I am still stuck here. God, I know I have you in my life, I know with You I can overcome all these fears. Please help me along the way, I can't do this alone, is too scary. Is always You and me against the world, against all these fears and my demons inside of me. You can do this in me, I don't know when but I desperately wanna be okay and I want to fight and win this battle. 
www.jfaiviloth.bs.com
Your love keeps me going.